Saturday, June 13, 2015

How to Win Street Fights and Lose Self Respect


How to Win Street Fights and Lose Self Respect

This is an extension of pulling your enemies shirt over their head. This is dishonorable and should only be done when one has no self respect, or is willing to sacrifice one’s self respect in order to win a fight.

Have an opaque pillow case and poke two holes around the perimeter of the opening. Thread a rather long zip-tie through the holes and then connect the zip tie but keep it loose. Keep this in your pocket. In a fight, pull this over the head of the opponent and pull the zip tie tight around their neck: one is extra dishonorable for doing this from behind. Then one can proceed to lay a keen beating into the person while they cannot see.

Warning: this will sway the odds on one’s favor only if the fight was otherwise close to a fair fight. The opponent can still attempt to hit you, so if you’re much weaker than your opponent, there is still a chance you will lose the fight if you stay within the reach of your opponent.

Pro tip: to counter this, carry a knife and cut the pillow case open.

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